I watercolour gardens because I've longed to plant flowers but never have. So I create them on paper instead: roses and tulips and lilies, because they're Sarah's favourite, and I keep thinking I want to paint sunflowers too. I'd paint them on my arms if I could, and then they'd sink into my veins, all yellow and dainty and fresh, and I'd be growing a garden deep inside of me. Would I feel brighter then? Would the world feel brighter too?
How can I change this world?
I wonder. Don't we all wonder on these January evenings? It feels like the Earth's been reset, but we know it's still spinning. Midnight strikes and the world is tinged sparkly and golden, but we see the news. We hear the stories. Some of us go away for awhile, keeping the blinds drawn because the sun hurts our eyes as well as our insides.
The cynics say resolutions are pointless. The hopeful make lists of the things that they plan to do different. I'm not one nor the other, though I have a word dangling on a necklace that marks what I hold for this brand new year.
We'll screw up a few times -- look, I already have. We'll celebrate hard, and maybe buy bits of confetti to toss into friends hair. There's a time for everything, and sadness and celebration are among that everything.
I'd like to change the world, I think.
I lay in bed at one in the morning, dreaming up a million different things -- watercolour gardens, and kind words, a dozen lilies handed to a sad girl.
There's a thousand ways we can change the world each day. I think it begins inside -- that soft place right next to your beating heart. The resolutions are fine, and the one word is good, but if we're not looking out at the world and wondering how we might be a part of some change, then what is the point of this new, clean slate? Well, I'm not sure.
Changing the world might look different for you than me. I think that's beautiful. We're all capable of bringing more yellow to the grey, of adding brightness to the dreary dark. Whether that's through daisies, or paint, or a cup of tea. We all have ways of changing our world. The world in front of us, and the world far away.
There's a thousand ways we can change the world each day.
So I'm going to.